Go in with a BANG

The loudest noise I ever heard was heavy metal music.

Like a tonal nightmare, the only thing that had ever paled to it in comparison was the noise inside my head that screamed comfort zone. "Play it Safe" was the mantra that had owned me for most of my life. It was the sunblock, the helmet that shielded me from the crazy world around me. The chords of this comfort volume were so loud that the only thing I thought could dim it down was the only noise that had even come close to it...

Fear.

Blazoning shards of anything different.

I had wanted to learn to play the electric guitar for a long time.

But it was so 'un-me' - so loud -

that the very thought of picking up a guitar left me feeling naked in Times Square.

But I had to do something bold.

I had to finally introduce Safe and Fear.

This duality inside me had to meet,

as one often gives birth to the other.

I believed in myself partially and signed up for guitar lessons - 

a dare inspired by the year's end approaching and the flash of neon exit signs 

that pointed towards a new entrance.  

A hallway of uncertainty and fear was the last place I thought I'd see the light.

But it wasn't until a friend gave me my own electric guitar as a gift

that pushed this thought into consciousness:

"Own this noise louder than the noise had owned you."

Power was wrapped up inside that package with my name on it

and all it needed to come alive was

for this fearful soul to set it free.

Remove wrap.

Insert amplifier.

Play the fear in and out of your veins 

like contractions of rebirth.

Ah, you're gonna dare me to?

Fine.

I'm gonna rock this.

The contractions began.

Now, there's no sound sweeter than risk.

I'd played with it before,

and I was hearing it again with the first shriek of a strum.

I thought,

I'd rather dance to the shaky rhythm of change than walk to the drone of typical.

A fear baby was born and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard.

You don't have to make waves to make change.

You don't have to move mountains to matter to the universe.  

Perhaps tweaking the sound of your own tune is enough

to simply feel more alive.

Dare to Exit Safe and Enter Fear this coming year.

Untangle yourself from the safety net you've designed to protect yourself

against your own awakening.

All my best on this side and on the other.

~ L ~

"Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

~Dylan Thomas

the gift of enough

Whatever it is that you're waiting for,
whether it's


*
True
love,
money in the bank,
presents to be wrapped,
for someone you love to call,
 a package to arrive before Christmas,
everything to be done just the way it needs to be,
for your someone to actually appreciate you,
for your kids to stop calling your name,
to feel younger than last year,
for the holidays to be over,
for the holiday feeling to last all year,
to have a Christmas where you feel like a kid again,
for someone to forgive you for something you've done,
for a new addition to your family,
for the weather to be different than it is wherever you are,
for the world to be more peaceful in the coming year,
for all your dreams and resolutions to come true in 2014,
Let
what
you
have
be
enough.

"Be happy for no reason, like a child.

If you are happy for a reason, 

you're in trouble,

because that reason can be taken from you."

~Deepak Chopra

Let's stop waiting.
Wishing you all different versions of happy this season.

~L~

You hesitate to stab me with a word,

and know not -

silence is the sharper sword.

~ Samuel Johnson

ask Santa for this....

"Pain is merely a gentle nudge from the Universe to guide you home.

Suffering is when you resist it."

~Tom Cronin

Is it possible that the greatest gift you'll receive this year
is the gift of acute suffering, struggle, pain?

Because when you get up each time you fall, you gift yourself with that holy-crap-realization
that you just managed to survive yet another worse-than-ever scenario.

It's such an adult-like thing to ask for when the child in you only wants to soothe over its wounds with big giant colorful band-aids, to resist what's uncomfortable.

I say grow up and fall down.
Then get up and keep growing.

Enter this playground at your own risk and appreciate the ride.

~Happy Holidays,
L

Mandela leaves us with hope

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear,

but the triumph over it.

The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, 

but he who conquers that fear."

~Nelson Mandela (1918-2013)