How will you EXIT this year?

I'd always considered New Year's Day, January 1, as a really bad Monday.  This is because I had always looked at the new beginning as a glass-half-empty approach.  The entrance into something I might not be able to handle.  Too many unknowns. 

But I had it all wrong because I was unprepared by being over-prepared with expectations.

So a few years ago I figured I'd try a new way to think about it.

This year it's a new EXIT, which brings me back to my very first ever blog post from this past January.

A new leap from where I needed to be before I enter into the next year, reminding me of a quote I still smile about, by Bill Withers, the musician:

"You can't get to wonderful without passing through alright."

You've got to have faith that you'll be alright, by being okay with where you've already been, and by letting go of the fear of what's to come.  You have to trust the flow of life, the spontenaity of being free.  That's the ultimate liberty, freedom from the self restraint, the fear, the walls that have all led to the blockages that hold you back.

My 'resolution' is a new hope - the hope that the fear I have inside of me as a result from the Newtown, CT tragedies, as well as the massive amount of pain and suffering in this world, is overshadowed by the love inside of me.  I can't wish problems and tragedies away completely, as I know I need to experience all these dualities.

I cannot escape pain and suffering. I can only escape from being overwhelmed by it, by facing it and challenging it every day, and by continuing to focus on the love and joy that is always life itself.

Happy Exit, friends :)
I'll see you on the other side.

Much love,
~ L ~

bowl of cherries

If you read my posts, you know I believe that there are no such thing as coincidences.

Like my recent addiction to bing cherries. 

I crave them during the day. I eat all of them in the bowl within 24 hours.

I laugh because of the irony of this. "Life is like a bowl of cherries." I can't help but think about how you eat one.....you bite it away from it's stem, picking it from it's once-upon-a-lifeline.  It's juicy and silky and sweet.  Then you spit out the jagged little pitt. 

So how is this symbolic of life I thought?

Well, first of all, it's a line from a song written in the 1930's, check out these lyrics:

Life is just a bowl of cherries;

Don't make it serious; 
Life's too mysterious.
You work, you save, you worry so,
But you can't take your dough when you go, go, go.
So keep repeating it's the berries; 
The strongest oak must fall.
The sweet things in life
To you were just loaned,
So how can you lose what you've never owned?
Life is just a bowl of cherries,
So live and laugh at it all. 

Ahhhhh.....don't be too serious. Even the strongest must fall. 

These cherries were screaming to me for a very good reason. I've been struggling with worry and fear since late last week and searching desperately to grip onto something. 

So I'll keep grabbing cherries.... ...I'll loan you one........

..........The sweet things in life 

To you were just loaned,

So how can you lose what you've never owned?

((( shaken up )))

I wrote several paragraphs about my feelings towards the recent tragedy in Connecticut.  

I backspaced the entire thing.

There are just no words.

I am grieving along with this nation.

And that is an understatement.

~ L ~

lightning struck me

I don't like surprises.

So when that no-name flash-flood-of-a-storm sprung upon us last night, I was a little upset with it for sneaking up on me.  That's not to say that I didn't admire its light display, or welcome the chance to snuggle with the kids in the dark.

But why, Self, do you feel the need to always be prepared - ready for - something in advance? 

What if you just let life happen upon you, ready or not?

Why not let go of fear? Fear is the cause of every problem.

Michael A. Singer, author of my new favorite book, The Untethered Soul ((given to me by my mother-in-law)), brings up a very important point on this issue:

"Ultimately, if you protect yourself perfectly, you will never grow......you will never be free.....If you learn to remain centered with the smaller things, you will see that you can also remain centered with the bigger things.  Over time, you will find that you can even remain centered with the really big things.  The types of events that would have destroyed you in the past can come and go, leaving you centered and peaceful.....and then, ultimately, even if terrible things happen, you should be able to live without emotional scars and impressions."

(excerpt from Ch. 7, Transcending the tendency to close)

I don't want to bear especially the smallest of burdens and, essentially, I want to live every day like it's a new surprise.

~ L ~

It's Saturday.

It's the first night of Hanukkah.

The second weekend in December.

Lights are everywhere, presents are on your mind,

maybe some reflection of where you were this time last year...

And so I ask you this:

What is your wish this season?

Think about it. Maybe it will change each day.

Maybe it hasn't changed in years.

~ L ~

peace from awareness

Reading this book that I've mentioned here before,

"The Untethered Soul,"

I came across a multitude of life lessons, 

in fact about 10 per page.

But funny how things stick out to you at different times for one reason or another.

This stuck out to me today:

"You must learn to be comfortable with psychological disturbance. If your mind becomes hyperactive, just watch it.  If your heart starts to heat up, let it go through what it must.  Try to find the part of you that is capable of noticing that your mind is hyperactive and that your heart is heating up.  That part is your way out.....The only way to inner freedom is through the one who watches: the Self.....In time, you will come to realize that the center from which you watch disturbance cannot get disturbed."

Quite liberating, huh?

Figured we could all use a dose of personal liberation right about now.  

Not one of us reading this is without disturbance of some sort in our lives.

Here's to a small dose of inner freedom.

~ L ~

fresh start

Been thinking about this dialogue from a great movie lately...

"The first time I ever saw you, you looked like Christmas morning."

{{"Why are you telling me this now in the end?"}}

"I guess in the end you tend to think about the beginning."

~ Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Beginnings and Endings are so relative.

There are about 20 or so in my day alone, who knows how many in a week or month but ultimately only one Earthly beginning and End.

I love the 1st day of each month, for some reason it gives me energy, like I'm starting fresh.

But I also enjoy the last day because it makes me feel like I've conquered another 'chapter' of something.

Try thinking about all the 'ends' as entrances instead of exits for a different perspective.

Little bit of thought for the 'middle' of the week :)

~ L ~

Solid

I was driving behind a cement truck the other day and here's what came to mind:

That cement truck was driving on top of the cement that it created.

It had built the foundation that it rode upon.

Created it's own ride in a sort of way.

Wow, I thought.

BIG epiphany.

Aren't we all part of the bigger picture?

A microcosm of the atmosphere?

There's water in that cement and there's water in you.

Do you recognize what's in you that's also in another?

Do you dislike something about someone else?

Take a close look, this time with patience, 

and embrace that it's also somewhat in you.

We're all water.

Respect. Learn. Accept.

Build a foundation you want to stand proud upon.

Seal it with cement, then enjoy the ride you've created.

~ L ~

~A Pile of Sand for Thought~

I had to take my pants off in the shower

because I knew there'd be a pound of beach sand inside my rolled-up cuffs.

As I stared at the sand on the shower floor I wondered where that sand had come from?

Was that sand over there from somewhere different from that pile over there?

I felt small in the grand scheme of life and then I thought of another time I felt this way...

In NYC on the corner of 79th and Madison Avenue....

So many people walking by me, each with their own different story. Everyone is coming from somewhere and going somewhere else.  Everything and everyone looked so busy, and even when I stopped to cross the street, this busy-ness moving around me kept mounting to an overwhelming feeling that my life, my world, is only one insanely small piece of this corner, this street, this city-world. 

 I glanced down at a piece of gum on the sidewalk and thought that person had a story, too.  In fact, that very spot on the sidewalk had a story, I thought.  Someone had walked on that piece of gum while breaking up with their girlfriend over the phone, someone was pregnant and didn't know it yet.  Someone was wondering why they hadn't received that raise at work or how they were going to afford next month's rent. 

For every occasion in that place, for every pile of sand I stand upon, there is an equal, counter-occasion somewhere else.

There's a family that's cozy and functional and warm and happy. There's another next door that's uncomfortable as a unit, dysfunctional, cold, miserable. Others are apart against their will - taken away for some reason or another.

Little fish Big pond.

Thankful for these humbling thoughts on a day that it is bittersweet as this

Thanksgiving Day is for me.

And all I can do is be aware of all that's right today and all that's not.

I ask the same of you. Read your internal compass on this day of Thanks.

Reflectively, Gratefully, and Warmly Yours,

~ L ~

Alive and well

When I sit back and recognize how overwhelmed I feel with all that is on my plate, I actually consider the thought that they'd all have to find a way to do it without me if I weren't here anyway. It's kind of laughable how much we sweat the small stuff.  We meaning Me. I may operate well under a fast-paced schedule, but I want to operate better under a slow-paced one.  

I want to do less better.

I've been thinking a lot about death lately, can you tell?

I find myself thinking about how 'unfinished business' is only unfinished business if you're alive to worry about it. That's what those of us still on Earth do, right? We do the worrying.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of it's sorrow, it empties today of its strength."

~Corrie Ten Boom

Phew. I just gave myself permission to CHILL.

Thank you, Self.

Alive and well Self.

You can be 'Change'

It has been said by Mother Theresa that

"If you can't feed a hundred, then feed just one."

That's how "FEED JUST ONE"

got started back in 2007 by a group of friends.

Every shirt they sell for $20 feeds 30 girls one balanced, nutritious meal at the 

Think Humanity Girls Hostel in Hoima, Uganda.

This may seem so far away to some, but when you look at 

these kids,

their faces and stories hit very close to home.

The holidays are around the corner.

If you're looking for some gift ideas, what a great $20 gift with a great story behind it.

Click the above link to hear their stories 

and go to

www.feedjustone.com

to order shirts.

perspective as i miss you...

In light of - no - in 'darkness' of the crazy and stressful post-election world at present time and all of the opinions and complaints and dark forecasts for our country,

there is a light that shines down on me from above.....

.....as my cousin passed away from cancer last week.

She was young. So are her children.

There have been few words to say because it's all felt so deeply.

~  ~  ~

Death of a loved one, when it happens that the body leaves its form behind, can suddenly stop your world. No matter how inevitable it may be, no matter how much you try to make sense of it all, nothing prepares you for it's moment.  And the only thing I can think of that even comes close to stopping your world is the moment of a birth. 

Ironic, isn't it?

Birth. Life. Death.

And yet there are very few moments in between that stop your world as much as your entrance and your exit into life.  

I want to stop more.

Why do we go and go and do and do and not just stop and be?

Take in the sunset? The sound of rain, laughter? 

Does this ever stop you?

I vow to work on this moment when it arrives. Which is always right now.  

(( I tried to call you last night to tell you that you taught me this but....))

your own forecast

When is the last storm that happened in your life? What did it look like? Feel like? Was it a tragedy? 

What was the outcome? A disaster? An opportunity? A gift?

Did you allow for change? Rebuild or Resist?

Restructure or just Repair?

And what did the light look like once you came out the other side?

(( Listen ))

same event, different me

Taking out Halloween decorations at the beginning of the month inspired this thought....

I felt like I was was (well....I was) opening up a time capsule from a year ago in my life.  I payed attention to the way I carefully wrapped everything in newspaper so that when I opened everything up again it would be preserved.  

Strangely, I felt like I was talking to my old self. My newer self appreciated that my old self had gone through the care of anticipating the future - that I was in fact going to be opening up this stuff again next year. I also empathized with how I must have felt putting it all away after the holiday, feeling a little sad like something was ending, and recognizing how excited it was to open the same container,

with all the old, sad newspaper-wrapped decorations

waiting there for me to revisit the same cycle all over again -

one year older, wiser, happier

and so much more present,

aware.

formless

Upon referencing my favorite author, Eckhart Tolle, to a good friend, I came across something he said about death. He says,

"Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to 'die before you die' -- and to find that there is no death."

This is especially meaningful to me as I watch someone so close to me 'die' of cancer and is near the end of her form.

We've all seen images of dead people or people in pain but to literally watch someone die little by little for two years is, I've realized, only an illusion.

Because how they choose to deal with their mortality is very different from how I watch them 'die'.

This is precisely because you can not lose what you are - only what you have.

Only you know what you are - that is, only your consciousness knows.

What I see in another is my perception, a phantom of what truly IS.

I am not losing her or what she means to me.  I am losing the form of her, not her formless energy that is her 'life,' the energy that I have come to love because it is also within me.  

"To love is to recognize your self in another."

~E. Tolle~

All forms fade with time, some more prematurely than others. And when these forms are placed in the earth, the marker which marks their form eventually also fades with time.

She will never fade away in me as long as I am.

We. Are.

Peacefully. Together.

I learned a lesson....

And that is to always learn from a lesson.

I thought of this while I was eating sprouts today :)

I thought if you are what you eat, 

then most definitely I want to be eating these sprouts.

Seeds, growth, wisdom.

Glad I payed attention to what was staring me in the face - this lesson.

  ~ And that's my Monday tidbit ~

Atmospheres

Five exoplanets have recently been discovered orbiting the star KOI-500, a star smaller and younger than our Sun.

The five exoplanets orbit this star so closely that their years range from only one to nine and a half days long!

Imagine!

And perhaps the coolest part of this system?

The planets are so close together that their mutual gravity slightly pushes and pulls on their orbits, yet their orbits are unusually stable are more synchronized than any other system that's been discovered yet, including our own.

Think about that.

Mutual gravity

Atmospheres

Synchronized

Close

Harmonious

~  Can you and I share this as well?  ~

(( can't we all? ))

not getting off at your exit

'Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.'

And if I have to hurt a little here..........

.........Or a lot there to fuel this growth train,

~ Then it's okay ~

One layer at a time....

Peeling this onion today reminded me of something....

Forgiveness.

I thought of all the layers that have to be peeled away in order to forgive. Layers of self that take the peeling away of armor and flesh....and when you get to the middle layers it gets softer, like the onion. But the peel is much more tender, much less brutal than the cut, thus eliminating the sulfoxide enzymes that react with the water in your eyes to form sulfuric acid - burning and begging for the release of it's byproduct - the tear, to cleanse away the irritant that could have been avoided with the peeling away of the layers themselves, 

Tenderly...

     Forgivingly.

the ultimate movement

Funny how much the human race differs. To elaborate would take volumes. 

But more simply put, we are the same in more ways than not. 

Take Dance for example.

You go anywhere in the world and move rhythmically and someone from the human race will not only understand - but they will be affected, uplifted by your movement.

This is Matt Harding, known as the 'dancing man' when he went all around the globe teaching people his strange dance, and also learning dances from other cultures.  

Click HERE to watch his amazing journey as he dances everywhere from underwater in the Great Barrier Reef, to the middle of the ocean on an aircraft carrier with troops, and to the middle of the desert in Saudi Arabia to mention a few.

~ UPLIFTING ~

no skin off my hands

What's worse than not being able to finish a workout?

People staying around you while you're way up there on the pull up bar and telling you you can.

I wanted to punch everyone in the face....
Not because they did anything wrong but because I felt incredibly vulnerable and was pissed that it was written all over my face.

I am qualifying for a competition in November and I am being WAY too hard on myself.

I finished the third out of five workouts yesterday - or should I say - I didn't finish.

25 wall balls

25 toes to bar (parallel knees only)

25 thrusters

25 pull ups 

200 m kettle bell run.

All in under 12 minutes.

Well....I did everything except I ran out of time to complete the run.  That's because it took me half of the overall time to do the pull ups.

My hands and shoulders were shot.
I still can't wash my face or do much at all with both  hands like this.

But regardless - a few lessons learned -

 ~My hands will heal. I've come to appreciate my hands more than ever and I'm happy to actually have them at all.

~I'm reminded how much I appreciate seeing others in a vulnerable position and how much more respect, empathy and compassion I have when they're strong enough to show it.

~ There is only one 'winner' in a competition, but all the other 'losers' are people who put just as much effort into it as everyone else. They have parents who cheered them on, kids who were so excited for them, strangers screaming for their 'success', the skin ripped off their hands and they also dealt with the same real feelings I experienced today...

Emotional and physical exhaustion.

~The only one 'watching me fail' is myself. Through my own eyes. If i say I failed then I failed. But if I see the value of every failed attempt as a building block of my growth, wisdom and maturity,
it's all one big, giant, victorious

WIN.

for no one else but you...

"Let go or be dragged"

Is a quote I keep coming back to.

I could let go of about 10 little things a day and about 10 big things in my life overall. 

Some happened before, others are happening now.

Sometimes that's the only choice you have.  

Still, some things - very few - are worth being dragged for a long time.

Others aren't worth being dragged for five minutes.

I've got a good grip on this most of the time -

Not on the letting go - 

but on the drag.

Let Go.

Or.

Be

Dragged.

When you don't know what to do with your anger..........................

...................... Let it Go.

Let it go regardless...

On Mondays,

Octobers,

2012's,

~Now~

Then replace it with compassion.

not just for the lonely

For anyone who ever feels alone, 

especially in a crowded room, 

the movie

The Giant Mechanical Man

is a must-see.

I'm still not sure what yet, but something changed in me since I saw this last night,

something small but noteworthy.

who are you really?

I'm very picky about the books I take the time to read, which is why I am always drawn to non-fiction. Usually they're slow reads, ones you want to go back over and highlight certain parts to iron in your memory. 

Like this book: 

It's a book that walks you through your relationship with your thoughts and emotions, often referring to your inner thoughts as your 'roommate.'

It's refreshing to know that the voice inside your head is a boundary and can be set free from the self.

What's special about this book? This part was an 'aha' moment:

An event or experience happens and affects you.

Your heart and mind are fixated on that experience even though it's already gone.

"There's a blockage, an event that got stuck. All the subsequent experiences are trying to pass through you, but something has happened inside that has left this past experience unfinished.  Life must now compete with this blocked event for your attention...You will see that your tendency is to think about it constantly.  This is all an attempt to find a way to process it through your mind.....because you resisted, it got stuck, and now you have a problem."

Sound familiar?

Read his solutions to these stuck-in-the-mud thought patterns.

Set yourself free one at a time.

take it from a rocket scientist

I picked up a magazine at the airport and read this interesting tidbit from Alyssa Goodman, PhD, a professor of Astronomy at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics:

"The thing that's grand about spending your time thinking about the universe is that it makes you feel insignificant.  I don't mean that in a bad way.  If you understand that we've not discovered entire solar systems that contain planets similar to Earth, and that those are just the ones we know about, since most of the stars we've looked at are within about 300 light years of Earth and the distance to the center of our galaxy is nearly 110 times that - then you realize that the laundry you've left undone and the dumb thing you said yesterday are about as significant as slime mold."

Phew.  

cleaner

I felt unusually gross when I left the gym today.

And in the shower it hit me.....

There are some days, like today, that I feel dirty with other people's sweat - from the floor, the equipment, the days we get on the ground and, well - get dirty. 

Then there are other days, like when I run, where it's only my sweat.  It's less dirty because it's my own. It's not roses but it's pure dirt - raw - sweat - on top of my skin. Cleansing in a way because it's the dirt coming out - not your dirt going in.

The epiphany in the shower was this:

How synonymous to every day life.  Your drama and dirt is a lot harder to clean off than my own inner issues.  It makes me want to take longer showers and scrub harder.

So I'll still carry on getting dirty when life throws me in the mud.

But I'll try my best to conserve water and stick to shorter showers.

hello other side of me

Yesterday I met my competitive self for the first time.

My first qualifying workout for an upcoming Cross Fit competition had my stomach in knots, every neuron in my body firing and my teeth tingling.  I kept telling myself this is 'normal' pre-competition jitters. But it wasn't until half way into the workout that the adrenaline rush took the place of the nausea that was with me for days prior.

As always, the anticipation of the actual event proved far worse than the event itself. 

In hindsight, I'm proud of myself for how I did.  I was scared to dead-lift 135 lbs once.  Lo and behold - I picked that shit up 37 times! Although this wasn't anticipated to be one of my stronger qualifiers, I was happy to take 7th place at my gym location out of 17 girls in my category - and even more happy that I sustained no injuries.  In fact, my back feels quite good.

I feel quite good. No one else judges me but myself.  And I gotta sleep next to me each night.

When was the last time you were truly nervous about something, but in a way that made you feel so human - so alive?

sitting, watching

I sat in a play area with my son for two hours today and watched him play.  

I smiled at the pure joy of being able to be there to watch him, to allow him to thrive and be happy.

So very grateful for the simple things in life - for just being to watch my son be.

My heart goes out to those whom, for whatever reason, are not able to experience that simple joy in their lives.

Being really is the most precious gift of all.

what's your religion?

I was moved yesterday in church by the topic of discussion of an amazing speaker. 

Today I was similarly affected in temple when I read from the Torah and heard all the beautiful singing around me.

I don't know what I did right, but I'm pretty sure my Dad is mostly to blame.  He always taught me to respect all religions and to always remember the bigger picture - that we are all different and that is ok.

Today I felt proud that I could be somewhere that was so different from where I was yesterday - yet I felt so at home in both places.  

I guess maybe that's because my open mind is my new home.  And wherever it is - there I am. 

And love is my religion :)

What is yours?

the compass II

Funny how I go for a while without writing because I'm "out of sorts." 

But what I really need is to write.

You're human which means you can relate to what I'm about to say without a doubt.

At the same time but completely separate, 

I'm experiencing such conflicting emotions.

I'm mad at what cancer is doing to my cousin 

I'm sad for her children

I'm joyful at the 8 year mark of my daughter today

I'm weepy about my baby growing up

I'm proud at the mother I've been to my kids

I'm scared for what the world is teaching them

I'm excited that I am training for a cross fit competition 

I want to throw up because I'm so nervous about competing.

So I've learned a little something about myself - that I either hide when I'm feeling like my internal compass is spinning in so many directions - or I spill it all out there and admit my humanity.

Today I am choosing the latter only because these feelings are not a secret.  They have all been felt by someone, somewhere at some point in time.  

And even though they are mine,

I am not theirs.

I will be alright :)

flame

I rarely share these but for some reason, today I couldn't resist this one.  A friend asked me yesterday, "Who or what is the center of your universe?" Overwhelmed by the complexity of the question, I said I'd get back to her.  Well I'm getting back to you now with a surprisingly simple answer.

It's the fire within me.

That's what drives me.  Pushes me forward.  What sometimes takes me backwards.  But always, always is the solid foundation for which I live my life.  It's the energy that generates how I live.  How I am.

I am the fire inside me.

He dreams of Sushi....

Meet 85-year-old Jiro Ono, owner of Sukiyabashi restaurant in Tokyo.

He is quite possibly the world's greatest Sushi chef.

Now I don't care for sushi, but his work is truly fascinating.

Even more fascinating? This man himself.

His restaurant is located in a subway station in Japan and only has 10 seats.  People come to Japan JUST to go to his restaurant, and thus he has earned his restaurant the only 3-star Michelan Guide rating of it's kind.  They don't serve soup.  They don't serve appetizers.  JUST SUSHI.  Prices start at 30,000 Yen, which is $273.51. 

As an apprentice at his restaurant, you can only make it behind the counter if you've effectively wrung out scorching hot hand towels for 10 years and massaged the octopus for 50 minutes every day.  

Watch this truly amazing documentary, as it will most definitely change the way you view your life.

are you happy where you're at?

"The real purpose of life is just to be happy - to enjoy your life.  To get to a place where you're not always trying to get someplace else.  So many people spend their lives striving, trying to be someplace that they're not, that they never get to arrive."

~  Dr. Wayne Dyer

This is a true act of balance if you can achieve this.  

Try reading some of his books.

pray

Research has shown that people suffering through a disease or illness are more likely to heal when they are prayed for - even when they don't know they are being prayed for.

There are some things I don't understand but still choose to believe in.  This in one such thing.

Please help me say a prayer for someone I love who is suffering and fighting through cancer.

here goes....

Okay, so this is something I'm very passionate about but have been afraid to post about because it could possibly offend someone....

BUT since it's not like me to hold back, here goes:

This is a new sign at my daughter's school. You'd think this should be a given but unfortunately we are still 'designating' smoke-free spaces that aren't necessarily enclosed private or public buildings.

To be clear - I am BEYOND EXCITED about these new 'rules.'

Having coffee today with a friend, I said this to her:

"I am sick of breathing in people's bad habits."

It's 2012. We're beyond the future that we dreamed of as kids, when smoking was neither bad nor good - just the thing to do. In fact, I look at someone smoking and think to myself, "why is your life so bad that you inhale cancer?" and, at the same time:

~Pollute my air

~Make me explain you to my kids who know smoking kills

~Spend your hard-earned money to support killing yourself 

~Complain when you can't breathe when you run 5 feet

~Take breaks at work 

~Put your loved ones and CHILDREN at risk!

I am livid when I see someone smoking in the same vehicle as their children are in.

You should not be allowed to raise children if you are clearly installing a tobacco humidifier in their carseats.

Don't give me the BS that you tried and can't quit, or that it's none of my business what you do, blah blah blah. 

You don't have the money to get help? Ha! Put a week's worth of black smoke into your ashtray and you'll do just fine.

The FACT is that you look ridiculous when you smoke. You reek of an ashtray and if your significant says it doesn't bother them when they kiss you, they're probably lying.

It's 2012. I'm not sensitive to your cigarette addiction.

Period.

creating your own reality

In light of the fact that we will all be dealt this card sooner or later....

Psychologists say a single trauma will strike you twice. First, you will live through the actual event—dealing with the reality of it. Second, when you think or talk about the event with others, creating your personalized story of the event, you will recreate the event in your mind. Although there’s nothing you can do about what has happened to you, it’s important to stay mindful of how you describe the trauma to yourself and others—remember that your words create your world!   

~ Originally an article on Oprah.com ~

Click on this link to read more of this awesome blog by author Karen Salmansohn

weakness is a choice

"If friendship is your weakest point, 

then you are the strongest person in the world."

~ Abraham Lincoln

......I like this quote.  I find that I am affected more by my close friendships than relationships I don't care for, or 'things' that happen to me, or stressful events.......and after thinking about it.......it is okay to be weak about that.......vulnerable........because I know these people that I choose to let affect me will keep my weak spot safe.

~  and that's a strong statement  ~

when the mind has no worries

Last night we took Mr. Jones (the dog) for his walk.  We ran into an elderly neighbor, and his wife (who has advanced stage Alzheimer's).  

Two things fascinated me.

The first is shame on me for feeling sorry for this woman.  She may not remember what I told her 5 minutes ago, but she didn't stop smiling, and the mere sight of Mr. Jones threw her into hysterics at least several times. There was a part of me that envied that ability. She had not a care in the world. She was free.

The second is that her shirt and her skirt matched her shoes, which means that her husband dressed her. This man loves his wife of over 50 years like he did the day he met her.  He talked about their first date. She smiled. He feeds her turkey every day for her brain in hopes to slow the Alzheimer's.  He takes her for drives up and down US1 just to stimulate her mind. And he bought her a puppy a year ago because dogs make her giggle.

I have faith in mankind today.

life lesson 82345.1

Teaching an 8-year-old patience during an injury is also teaching me the same.

When I look at her in this picture I see myself in deep thought,

Appreciating the little things in life that you can only look at - not touch or engage in.

The simple pleasures that some take for granted.

I am grateful that this cast is temporary, that she is learning this lesson at this age, and that I am too.

And I reflect upon all who must life their life with a kink in their armor...

making it

Funny how you can have an epiphany anywhere.  Like staring at a merry go round or taking a box of cereal off the shelf.

I had one of those today. I remembered what it was like to live in anticipation of something better - to want to vacate my life - to want to go somewhere - anywhere - other than here.

Today I appreciate the road I've taken to get where I am today. 

A place inside me I never want to leave. And wherever I go - or stay - it's always there in me.

Sometimes pain hurts the most from the ones we love the most.

Family.  

And sometimes there's not a damn thing you can do except to find peace within yourself - because really and truly - that's all you're ever guaranteed to have forever - yourself - until there is nothing left.

I like this recipe: 

 Pain / peace within + (our good buddy) time x understanding - reactivity = overall peace.

I'm marinating it for a while and then I'll sleep on it. I already like the smell of it.

above and below the surface

This picture is worth more than a thousand words.  It was taken of me crossing the Atlantic Ocean to the banks of West End, Bahamas. When I saw this I first thought of the irony - the fact that that I'm up on a fly bridge of a 45-ft boat, appearing to be floating in the clouds....yet I'm actually floating on top of a water mass that's easily one thousand feet deep. Very. Very. Deep...

...as are my thoughts while this picture was taken.

permission

I was liberated a little today.

I read a quote by author Karen Salmansohn that said the following:

"Live your happiest life by accepting that some people can only be in your life as lessons and/or memories."

For some of you, this may just be another thing that someone else said.

For me, I'm relieved.

Sometimes I'm afraid of letting people in because of the burden of responsibility I hold along with it.  I don't want to let them down - or be let down.  If you develop a relationship with someone - anyone - don't you have a responsibility to carry that....develop it....nurture it?

I believe today the answer is no.  Those words that someone else said have resonated with me. I need to accept that sometimes it's okay to allow the ebb and flow of friendships in and out of my life. If we all carried the relationships we've ever had as a responsibility, we'd never evolve or create new space.

I like that I have allowed someone else to give me permission to choose who to choose in my life.  To be selfish about who I want to hold on to and who was there for another reason.

~Have a nice Sunday ~