no skin off my hands

What's worse than not being able to finish a workout?

People staying around you while you're way up there on the pull up bar and telling you you can.

I wanted to punch everyone in the face....
Not because they did anything wrong but because I felt incredibly vulnerable and was pissed that it was written all over my face.

I am qualifying for a competition in November and I am being WAY too hard on myself.

I finished the third out of five workouts yesterday - or should I say - I didn't finish.

25 wall balls

25 toes to bar (parallel knees only)

25 thrusters

25 pull ups 

200 m kettle bell run.

All in under 12 minutes.

Well....I did everything except I ran out of time to complete the run.  That's because it took me half of the overall time to do the pull ups.

My hands and shoulders were shot.
I still can't wash my face or do much at all with both  hands like this.

But regardless - a few lessons learned -

 ~My hands will heal. I've come to appreciate my hands more than ever and I'm happy to actually have them at all.

~I'm reminded how much I appreciate seeing others in a vulnerable position and how much more respect, empathy and compassion I have when they're strong enough to show it.

~ There is only one 'winner' in a competition, but all the other 'losers' are people who put just as much effort into it as everyone else. They have parents who cheered them on, kids who were so excited for them, strangers screaming for their 'success', the skin ripped off their hands and they also dealt with the same real feelings I experienced today...

Emotional and physical exhaustion.

~The only one 'watching me fail' is myself. Through my own eyes. If i say I failed then I failed. But if I see the value of every failed attempt as a building block of my growth, wisdom and maturity,
it's all one big, giant, victorious

WIN.