In Death Valley, the hottest place on Earth with temps up to 134 degrees,
Coyotes can scrape by on grubs and lizards whereas most other animals fail to survive.
I thought about this fact during the first two months at my new gym, my new home away from home.
"Why do I feel so out of place here?", I thought.
Everything seemed foreign even though I'd been doing similar exercise for years.
There's no way I'm gonna like this place, I told myself.
It's too.....different.
I hated on it right away. Why is the floor like this?
Who are these people?
And why didn't they notice when I was away for two weeks?
They should have called me dammit - what if I was dead?
I wanted to quit, but I'd been here before.
Here, in the quit pits of my own mind.
Alright, I thought, "Are you going to be the sea otter out of place in the desert or are you going to be the coyote?"
Day after day, I got more pissed off at myself for walking in and feeling so out of place.
I knew it wasn't them or the place or the room, the floor, the bars or the cubbies that wouldn't fit my drink.
And that's what pissed me off most.
-----> It was ME. <-----
"What do you want from this place, Lauren? From these People?
Do you want a cookie for doing a pull-up?
Do you expect to be any more than a stranger to anyone here?"
Ugh, there I was, all caught up in the middle of a life lesson.
But what do I learn from this?
My answer was clear today.
They announced the workout. I'd be trying "butterfly" style pull-ups for the first time today.
I immediately hated the thought. Hating on it already.
I can't do this. I'm going to fail. I want to do a regular pull up for crying out loud.
I'm good at those.
Think of the Coyote, Lauren.
Take it by the 'horns' and get up there and
butterfly the shit out of the air,
out of your head and all its negative residual clutter up there.
You're a walking, thinking, breathing mammal, a machine
who can more than survive in these four walls
because the coyote THRIVES in Death Valley for god's sake!
I went for it with a new attitude.
One that had subsided in me over the past few months,
that was lurking in the dark valley of pity and quit and fear.
I did it.
And do you know, I was GOOD at it!
It was the surprise that I needed from no one else but me.
It was the lizard the coyote found under a rock after nearly starving.
As soon as I noticed me, so did the others, the 'others' that DID in fact notice that I was gone.
Maybe I hadn't noticed I was gone because I was never really........there.
But now here I was.
Finally.
Home.
It's in a neighborhood near determination,
across the street from courage
and on the other side of the tracks from fear.
You can find me there.
Keep feeding your mind the right food, L.
Eat a lizard and like it.
Butterfly anything once.
Lesson: Adaptation
