When I gave birth to a little girl,
I thought of pink and pig tails and tutus
and all the splendor that 'girl' entails.
I never thought about how I was giving birth to a woman -
a planet of yet-to-be-discovered beauty -
One that would teach me more about the woman I am than anything else.
The truth is, as instinctual as it was for me to become the mother I thought I'd be,
I was not prepared for what would happen to ME when my daughter started puberty.
(( Yes, the big dot ))
Running the gamut from lonely to challenging to wonderful,
I am completely and utterly enveloped in the beauty of this daunting responsibility.
How could I ever be so lucky to help my daughter understand how her body works?
(( and do I really know how?))
After a warm bath and some essential oils rubbed on her belly,
I thought about her little ovaries,
how beautiful it is that my body made her body with the ability to
someday make the same miracle.
I thought about the color pink and how cute it used to be
and how there will soon be 50 shades of it all over my living room couch.
I thought about myself at her age,
the little girl that relates to her confusion,
and how that person doesn't even seem like she's a part of this lifetime of mine-
though every piece of her tween-size awkwardness and insecurity undoubtedly are.
I thought about the (dwarf) planet, Pluto,
and how, on July 14 of this year (5 days from now),
NASA's New Horizons space craft will reach it's atmosphere
after a decade of being adrift in search of it's wonder.
I'd use this analogy to explain to my girl that
there is a large undiscovered world out there,
and that it takes what feels like many lifetimes -
many atmospheres -
before you actually feel like you've earned your wings
as a confident woman.
I explained that the search, the journey to get to Pluto
is like the body's journey through the years.
"My ovaries are in flight mom?"
Precisely!
Pluto rotates in the opposite direction from Earth,
much slower,
and it's sun rises and sets in opposite directions from ours.
This reminds me how different my little body was from hers,
how our different personalities will collide throughout the years
and create such a beautiful mess in its wake,
and yet how similar the wonder of women can be,
how spectacular motherhood is.
Periods take the place of pig tails
and undiscovered Pluto becomes "so yesterday, mom",
and all the while,
I am so here for her journey,
the one that made up for the one I flew through blindfolded,
too young and innocent to discover until two decades later.
And then I am reminded of my mother,
the one who flew to Pluto and back with me three-fold,
who's still here to marvel at the wonders no telescope can see -
the ones we live through together.
To all the women, moms and daughters in the Universe
with love,
here's to discovering all that's unknown, together.
~ L ~
(( coincidentally, an 11-year old girl named Venetia Burney came up
with the name Pluto for the planet when it was first discovered in 1930 ))
