take the bull by the horns (repost)

Taking almost a month off of blogging,
it's hard to know where to pick back up.
So many thoughts in my mind
that don't know how to be sorted.

So I decided to look up what I posted exactly a year ago 
at this time and found a post with a lesson
quite fitting for my dilemma:

If you're a regular reader of my posts, you'll know that I have a slight obsession with beginnings and endings, entrances and exits. 

Today is the beginning of August. 

Or shall I say the exit from July?

So what comes to mind to post today is from an excerpt from a book I'm reading. 

"Wild" by Cheryl Strayed. 

A true story. 

A woman, broken in every sense of the word,

Lost, lonely and completely ALONE, 

Decides to give up everything she owns and hike the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mojave Desert to Washington State,

with nothing but a pack and some hiking boots. 

On the 5th day of her three-month journey, 

She encountered a massive Texas Longhorn Bull. 

She closes her eyes as she finds and blows the orange whistle as loud as she can. 

She opened her eyes and and the bull was gone....

"I considered my options. 

There were only two and they were essentially the same. 

I could go back in the direction I'd come from, 

Or I could go forward in the direction I intended to go. 

The bull could be in either direction since I hadn't seen where he'd run once I closed my eyes. 

I could only choose between the bull that would take me back 

And the bull that would take me forward. 

And so I walked on. "

Ah, the choice of going backward or forward....

AND

the power of that choice. 

Every day holds that choice. 

Happy exit into entrance. 

~L

worthy

Thanks to a recent post from a friend on 

social media,

I literally stopped dead in my tracks when

I read this sign above.

Such a simple yet powerful message 

about a topic not often talked about.

If I asked you if you've ever been on the receiving end of 

getting no message in return to sending one,

I'm sure most of you would say,

 (( as my grandmother often says ))

"Does a bear shit in the woods?"

Yes, of course.

It is even worse than getting a dreaded negative message 

because it leaves you 'hanging' with the potential 

for any to come at all.

No message is a

big, GIGANTIC
 empty space for negative

assumption potential.

No message in return

says 

I don't care,

I don't want to deal with this now,

You're not important,

I'm too busy,

I don't want to hurt your feelings right now

so I'm going to leave you hanging 

onto the empty space I've created

by leaving you with

the lamest form of communication

possible…

Nothing.

No message
is also a message.
A very shitty one, at that.

To all the corporations out there,
the friends,
the old friends,
the job potentials,
the angry parent,
the bitter son,
the embarrassed student,
whoever you are -

They are worth an answer
and you are worth a response.

~ L ~

Dear Sir, I salute you.

This past weekend,

on National television,

a little girl sang the national anthem.

It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard -

such big feeling coming out of such a small being.

As the camera panned out and across the the baseball field,

I noticed that a grown man was weeping.

I wish I could tell him what that meant to me.

Me, the one among millions

who saw him remove his cap,

bow his head and close his eyes.

I don't know what his moment was about,

he could have been in pain from loss, 

or maybe he was overcome with emotion from the words of our

nation's anthem.

"Gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there."

I don't know,

but I do know I was right there with him.

I felt his emotion as I, too, was moved 

in this moment.

This goes out to all the men and women

who have the courage to show their feelings in front of others,

in front of their peers, their children, the nation.

To weep is universally understood

and yet so misunderstood as weakness.

We don't know each other, Sir,

but I acknowledge you 

and I salute you.  

And I'll say a prayer for you tonight,

after I say one for those who 

aren't aware they live in the

home of the brave.

~L

perspective (do try this at home)

To some this may look like just a pair of rings hanging from a bar.

To an ape its an easy shot to the next tree.

To a gymnast it's a chance at gold.

But to me,

these rings are golden circles of opportunity 

with barbed wire wrapped around them,

a seemingly impossible means to an end.

To swing from below with such tightness in my core,

to whip my hips up to the base of them with such precision,

to snap my chest to replace my hips so fiercely 

that the movement can barely be taught - only felt

from so many trials and errors.

To then push myself up with all my might

and then swoosh back down and do it all over again

with equal or better precision….

…..I'm so close after a month of practice.

But I'm stuck.

So i got down on the floor 

and stared up at them from a new perspective,

this time shifting my mind to see them in a new light.

I thought,

if I can't get on top of them at this point in time,

let me get under all the way.

Let me feel vulnerable from below.

Let them feel me in their shadow.

Then,

suddenly the barbed wire went away.

The opportunity is there and the 

fierceness with which I want this opportunity 

is slowly chipping away at fear and intimidation.

Maybe we should all look at our 'problems' 

this way.

Get under them and understand them 

from all angles.

More to be revealed on this process :)

~ L ~

re-demp-tion; noun

/ri'dempSHen/

I always feel compelled to write on Day 1 of each month.

Redemption Day.

I think of them as 12 mini New Years

such that I think of Mondays as 52 microns of those.

The archaic definition of redemption is 

the action of buying one's freedom.

What freedom have I purchased today?

Forgiveness of the present.

Allowing this moment to be is 

my modern-day freedom, 

my salvation,

my (( ri'dempSHen )).

"Forgiveness of the present is even more important than

forgiveness of the past.  If you forgive every moment -

allow it to be as it is - 

then there will be no accumulation of resentment

that needs to be forgiven at some later time."

~ Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

So what does one do with the second day of the month, the year,

the third day and so on?

There's some power in that space,

that BIG empty space that people mistake for the need to fill up.

This vail of an illusion is replaced in theory

with the fact that all empty space has the potential 

to remain empty or to be occupied (( with clutter )).

The space has a choice.

You are the space.

Your.

Choice.

Keep the potential open for love, growth, clarity, joy.

~ L ~

*sweet risk

As I sit across from my friends

whom I'm close to at this point in my life -

at 35 years old,

time plays in slow motion for several moments…

Mouths are moving slowly and 

smiles are like stills of old favorite pictures

and I wonder to myself,

"Will you still love and respect me 

the times our relationship grows sour?"

When you love me at my worst, 

there's something very sacred about that.

It's easy to be a friend to a friend.

But can you love amidst the thunder?

Can you still respect a foe?

So I proceed with caution because it's worth it either way,

the bittersweet risk you take when you 

open up a door.

~ L ~

a lesson in Forgiveness

This woman rests her hand on the shoulder

of the man who killed her father and three brothers

in the genocide in Rwanda two decades ago.

"He did these things with other people,

but he came alone to me and asked me for pardon.

He helped me build a house with a covered roof.

I was afraid of him……but in my mind I feel clear."

Remember Viviane Nyiramana's story

the next time you're holding a grudge.

Likewise, remember the courage of this man

Francois Sinzikiramuka

when you're too proud to say I'm sorry.

~ L ~

(photo by Pieter Hugo.)