making peace with the wind

Hello thinker who is reading this post.

Have we met before?

I know something about you.

Right now there is something that is bothering you.

In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it.  

There's not a breathing, thinking person who isn't thinking up some botherings.

Maybe you're afraid or sad or hurt.

I can also say with near certainty that what's bothering you even has wings -

A thought so buzzing it's flying you blind.

You're afraid.

Because you don't even know who you'd be without this thought, 

yet you're consumed by it and identify with it.

It even has roots.

Wings and roots?

That's insane!

Precisely.

You're stuck.

We're all stuck.

Here's why.

We're not stuck by what happens to us,

but rather by our thoughts about what happens.

Who would you be without your story?

Author Byron Katie, my new favorite human,

says suffering is optional.

Her "Work" is a way of identifying and questioning the thoughts 

that cause anger, fear, depression, addiction and violence.

Here's a series of excerpts from the book she wrote, "Loving What Is:" 

"All the stress that we feel is caused by arguing with what is....

You can spend the rest of your life trying to teach a cat to bark...

The reason I made friends with the wind - with reality -

is that I discovered I didn't have a choice. 

I realized that it's insane to oppose it. 

When I argue with reality, I lose, but only 100% of the time.

How do I know that the wind should blow?

It's blowing!

I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person,

but because it hurts when I argue with reality....

Make friends with the worst that can happen....

Nothing terrible has ever happened except in our thinking...

Reality is always good, even in situations that seem like nightmares.

The story we tell is the only nightmare we have lived.

When I say that the worst that can happen is a belief - I am being literal.

The worst that can happen to you is your uninvestigated belief system."

So that's what has hurt all this time?

Arguing with reality in my own mind?

I never should have second-guessed the wind.

~ L ~

Dear Sir, I salute you (re-post)

This weekend there are lots of happenings in the United States.

Loved ones are remembering,

citizens are appreciating,

race cars are racing,

graduates are graduating.

Once again,

pain, happiness, love, honor and loss are highlighted

as we observe a day of remembrance for those who died in service 

for our freedom.

So in honor of the 150th Memorial Day weekend,

I am re-posting a favorite of yours

that I wrote one year ago.

It's a tribute to all of you out there who aren't afraid to 

be vulnerable,

either in the physical form or the emotional realm.

* * *

This past weekend,

on National television,

a little girl sang the national anthem.

It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard -

such big feeling coming out of such a small being.

As the camera panned out and across the the baseball field,

I noticed that a grown man was weeping.

I wish I could tell him what that meant to me.

Me, the one among millions

who saw him remove his cap,

bow his head and close his eyes.

I don't know what his moment was about,

he could have been in pain from loss, 

or maybe he was overcome with emotion from the words of our

nation's anthem.

"Gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there."

I don't know,

but I do know I was right there with him.

I felt his emotion as I, too, was moved 

in this moment.

This goes out to all the men and women

who have the courage to show their feelings in front of others,

in front of their peers, their children, the nation.

To weep is universally understood

and yet so misunderstood as weakness.

We don't know each other, Sir,

but I acknowledge you 

and I salute you.  

And I'll say a prayer for you tonight,

after I say one for those who 

aren't aware they live in the

home of the brave.

~L

(re-post from May 27, 2014)

Love is Green

On Valentines' past,
I've written about the love affair between the Earth and the Moon,
and between Flowers and Bees.

There is no greater love affair than within
nature itself because it asks for nothing in return.

In nature, it seems as though 'one' loves itself,
thrives, then another grows off this love
and in turn, thrives too.
It gives off love, and homeostasis is born.

If the 'green' of the Earth gets it, can we follow suit?
I believe so.

What does the color green look like in love to you?
It's not a traditional color associated with love,
but certainly it's not green with envy,
and maybe it isn't even green at all.

Certainly it can exist between two people,

but I believe the color green reminds us that love just IS.

It's the essence that is one being, one thing,

one flower,

It's the light left behind by the essence that no longer lives,

 it's in the memory of a dog who knew not much other than how to love,

it's in the wings around us,
waiting for those of us who don't yet know
what green looks like to them…

Maybe it's on top of a boo-boo,

Or inside the soul…

and it spreads out as far as the heart can feel it

Love is your perception of what it feels like to
give it and to receive it.
It is patient,
forgiving,
unselfish.

"Even after all this time,
the Sun never says to the Earth,
'You owe me.'
Look what happens with a Love like that,
it lights the whole sky."
~Hafiz

What color is your love?

~L~

loss when love is unrequited

un.re.qui.ted; adjective :

(of a feeling, especially love) not returned or rewarded

In light of a chat about death and loss

yesterday with a friend,

a new train of thought emerged
on a type of loss not often acknowledged as, well…loss.

Losing a loved one to death,

whether it be tragic and sudden

or slow and expected,

is a terrifying thought and a heart-wrenching reality

for most people at some point in their lifetime.

But what about loss of the living?

What happens to us when we lose someone close to us
(a friend, a spouse, a parent, a child)

who's love, who's friendship, or who's respect

is unrequited?

When they choose to cut us off
or when our actions shut us out?

Is rejection loss?
Is it as painful as losing someone to death?

According to an article written in 2013 by Guy Winch, Ph.D,

This is Your Brain on Rejection,

studies show that when someone feels rejected,

the same pathways in the brain for physical pain are activated,

meaning hurt feelings actually hurt.

You didn't 'lose' anything per se,

but your brain perceived the loss of that person as physical pain.

Is it harder to look at the same picture of someone

on your bedside table for the rest of your life 

who has passed away

or to watch an ever-evolving picture

of someone on social media that you lost 

who is still living - 

only without YOU?

The argument isn't which kind of loss hurts more,
but rather a bringing about of awareness to
a type of loss not often talked about,
such as unrequited love.

We are wired to feel pain in this way,
genetically and historically through evolution,
when once upon a time
being ostracized from small groups or tribes was
viewed as worse than death itself.

We read about the tragedy of unrequited love
in Shakespearean sonnets around 1600
such as Sonnet 149,
transcribed here into modern day verse;

"All of the best in me
worships the worst in you,
and you can command me with a glance.
But, my love, go on hating me,
because now I know your mind.
You love people who can see,
and I am blind."

So what do we do?
How do we deal with unrequited love
from a partner, a friend, a child or a parent?
I believe the answer lies in the teachings of Eckhart Tolle,
who speaks of this issue
in his book, 'A New Earth.'
He says,

"Whenever tragic loss occurs,
you either resist or you yield.
Some people become bitter or deeply resentful;
others become passionate, wise and loving.
Yielding means an inner acceptance of what is.
Resistance is inner contraction…you are closed…
the universe will not be on your side…
life will not be helpful.
When you yield internally….you surrender..
Circumstances and people then become helpful,
coincidences happen,
and if no action is possible (to change the situation),
you rest in the peace and inner stillness
that come with surrender."


When you lose someone in this way,
recognize the pain that we are wired to feel.
Hopefully this new perspective and awareness will
bring about more sensitivity towards the issue,
and forgiveness will be able to happen (one layer at a time),
whether you are the unrequitED, or the unrequitER.

~ L ~

go beyond self-doubt

When you doubt yourself for the small things you don't do, 

think big picture. 

You're on a planet that rotates around the Sun 

and trusts it's pull from the Moon. 

Your heart continues to beat, 

and your left foot trusts your right, 

as it always follows it…

The Earth does not rotate around the sun

in a perfect circle.

In fact, it's the imperfect oval 

that makes the ebb and flow

creating the seasons on our planet.

The Earth has to trust the Moon

because without it,

it would wobble significantly more

and have a harsher climate.

Your heart trusts

that while one valve opens to allow blood flow,

another valve closes to prevent backward flow.

The brain cannot feel pain,

so it trusts 

the body's hardwiring

to send it signals

that something is not right.

We need the very organ that cannot feel pain

to feel pain.

Such is the case with our own internal rhythm.

You must trust and believe in yourself,

in all that's right and that's not,

just as the Universe does.

As Victor Hugo says,

"Be as a bird, who, halting in her flight,

on a limb too slight,

feels it give way beneath her,

yet sings, sings knowing she has wings."

~ L ~

thrive even when there's no reason to

pros-per; verb - 

to flourish, grow, thrive

There out of the corner of my eye

was this lone cluster of frangipani -

ablaze with color!

Despite their solitude

from the rest of their counterparts

and the gray skies above,

there was nothing forlorn 

about them.

~ L ~

tonight's the night...

Neil Young said it perfectly to Howard Stern...

"Some days you got it, some days you don't.

You want to preserve that day that you don't

for posterity for everybody to look at.

Some days I'm just not myself,

it just doesn't feel like me…

it's the cosmic weather.

You can't always have it

which makes you appreciate it so much

when you get it 

and that is what life is all about  - 

it's so beautiful…

the way it keeps changing."

Don't spend so much time trying to change
in this 'new' year.

Focus on appreciating
all that is right
and all that isn't
and let the ebb and flow
allow you to live your way
into your new self
one day at a time.

Happy New Year friends and followers.

~L~