I'd like to thank my rental car

As I drove away in my rental car that would be mine for the next three weeks

I thought to myself what a piece of JUNK!

It smells like old smoke, sounds like it's way out of shape

and of course where are all the bells and whistles on this thing??

I started to like the piece of shit in less than 24 hours.

No back-up camera? Twist your body around 800 times if you have to and get a work out for crying out loud.

No button to close the back hatch? I slammed that damn thing so hard that I believed I got my money's worth out of my new kickboxing class. 

BAM I don't need a button.

And oh what a beautiful thing to actually insert a key in an ignition and twist to start!

I've had key-injection withdrawals since the luxurious technology has robbed me of the ability to do much of anything that requires any effort when operating my vehicle.

Keyless entry, you're a waste of less time.

What else can I operate with this key? I love actually turning my wrist.

To my future vehicle - I want to turn you on.

And since the moon and the stars are all aligned right where they should be,

my son spilled apple juice on my iPhone.

It's dead.

I drove to the grocery store in my piece of shit rental 

with no phone and very little gas in the tank

and felt surprisingly free...

light as a feather

with      lots      of     space     inside

to absorb

the life that I was living right then

andnotclutteredwithfancythings.

~L~

this word in my dictionary

......(flee-ting)

adjective - passing swiftly; vanishing quickly; transient; transitory

synonyms: passing; flitting; flying; brief; fugitive

This word has been flashing through my mind lately like the lyrics of a song.
over and over and over.

And I can't help but wonder, what does this word mean to you?
Does it mean life is rushing by you
or
are you able to capture the moment, the fleeting moment, as it comes?

I appreciated a moment while I was buying my Dad a pair of shoes for his birthday today, as I do every year.  I smiled at the same counter I'd been at several years in a row now.

"Excuse me, ma'am, my Dad is a size 11 4E in these shoes, can you please look him up in your system and let me know which pair I bought him last year?"

Here I am, again, I thought.  How cool that I'm here again for another year of his life...
And in that same moment came a realization that one year I would not be here again for this occasion.

I wanted to say, "While you're at it, can you please guarantee that I will be back here next year?"

I feel as though I stood still, time was finally passing through me and not taking me with it.
This is what it feels like to appreciate a moment for all it's worth, 
all the joy that overcame me and all the realization that it's going to end soon. 
I'd be walking out of that store in a few moments and,
fleeting
as it may be,
It was an ordinary moment with such weight in my heart
and I thought I just don't ever want to be in the moment where
I have to pass that shoe store by one April and not walk in...
-that moment will come too, 
one day,
and I'm thankful now that I 
grabbed a hold of the
fleeting,
flying,
transient
moment
that was right then and there -

standing still as ever,

inhaling every ounce it had to offer me.

Happy Birthday, Dad. I'm always aware of how much you mean to me.

~ L ~

this makes sense

I cut parsley today.

I noticed something.

There is something very sexy about parsley.

Why, you ask?

Because when you cut it with a big, thick, sharp chopping knife

it looks even better than when it was safe and whole and leafy and full.

 BAM you're chopped into pieces but you look so swell.

How do your parts bounce back to life even better in pieces than when whole?

Your resilience is so sexy.

And your'e parsley for god's sake!

And if that's not enough I taste you and your'e just the right taste of fresh and bitter.

Bitterfresh.

Just what my senses needed.

Thank you. 

Seed planted in my note-to-self garden.

~L

there's always a choice

When was the last time you stopped and told yourself, 

"Life is good."

Where were you?

Not the kind of 'good' where everything is great,

but the kind where, even when everything isn't great,

Life is still good.

For me, this happened this morning when I woke up.

I stared at this air vent and that very thought came to me.

I was very aware that it came over me,

and how involuntary the thought was.

Like when you're happy you're just happy.

You just know it.

It was a good thought and I smiled,

but I think I smiled more 

at the fact that "Life is Good" is inside me somewhere - not dependent on what goes on outside.

Life is good through my eyes. 

My soul. 

I made that decision a few years ago and,

despite all that's not exactly right, all that's perceived as unfair,

and all the pain and suffering and evil we are affected by,

I am happy to see that Life is still Good

when I choose for it to be so.

winner

This quote literally 'ran' through my mind today.

I woke up and didn't want to run let alone put on my running shoes.

It was just one of those days.  

I thought to myself, I don't have to run today.

Who would notice?

This thought pissed me off.

I didn't want my mind to be tired and give my body any ideas..

So out the door I went.....I'll just run the first bridge and then I'll turn around.

But when I got to the bottom of that bridge,

my consciousness got mad at my thoughts.

Go farther.

I don't know what made me listen...maybe it was remembering the quote from above.

You're not tired. You're a machine. You are free. Designed to run. 

This worked after the first bridge, so why not try it at the bottom of the second?

I played this game with myself 

and ended up at the base of the 6th and final bridge in my 5-mile course...

Better, stronger, and winning this internal battle....mind over body, body over mind.

Whichever one is stronger because I've fed it its strength.

And no one else noticed but me.

~ L ~

blue

My next door neighbor, an elderly man, is a Zoologist.

He is a retired professor from the University of Wisconsin.

I had heard a rumor around our neighborhood that he knows more about Blue Jays than possibly anyone in the world.

So when I saw him outside yesterday, I approached him 

with a burning question I've been meaning to ask him...

Do Blue Jays fall in love?

I'd been noticing a pair of Blue Jays in his back yard bird feeder.

"Well it depends who you ask," he replied.

"I believe they do.

They are quite picky about finding a mate and stay a pair until one dies."

Sigh.

Just what I was hoping to hear.

What a crazy role Love has in evolution...and this is just touching upon a tip of the iceberg.

Limitless heart

When someone you love so much is in so much pain, either physically or emotionally, and you feel their pain within you, so intensely that its constant dull ache can only be cured with their relief - that is when you know your love for this person has no limit.

Not that I needed proof that I love my mom so much.  But it's a reminder, and is ironically and painfully refreshing to know that my heart knows such depths................

........such 

Depths.